The Real Reason You Shouldn't Chase Your Runaway Wife

Hey brother,

Charlie McKeever here. In this blog post, I want to share some golden nuggets from my personal mentor and friend, Steve Horsmon of GoodGuys2GreatMen. Steve has this uncanny ability to turn our common struggles into simple, digestible lessons. Today, let’s dive into his wisdom on the difference between a good guy and a great man.

You might wonder, what’s in a name? Well, a lot, actually. Steve’s company name, GoodGuys2GreatMen, reflects a journey many of us are on. One key lesson Steve imparts is understanding the dynamics of relationships, especially when it feels like everything is going haywire.

Good Guy vs. Great Man: What’s the Difference?

Steve uses a straightforward analogy: a good guy, or a nice guy (think Dr. Glover’s "No More Mr. Nice Guy"), often has an overwhelming urge to fix things. It’s this relentless need to repair, help, and improve, often driven by a hidden agenda to make himself feel better. This is what we call people-pleasing.

For instance, imagine your wife asking for space. A good guy’s immediate reaction might be to chase her, show her endless love, and fix whatever seems broken. Sounds noble, right? But here's the catch – it often stems from insecurity and anxiety, not genuine concern. It's like hearing your car brakes squeak and rushing to fix them without a second thought. In relationships, this instinct can backfire.

Steve emphasizes that women can sense this insecurity. They pick up on the neediness and it pushes them further away. When you chase after her, desperate to fix things, you’re actually communicating your own fear and lack of self-assurance.

The Great Man’s Approach

Now, what does a great man do differently? When his wife pulls away, a great man doesn’t take it personally. He understands that everyone needs space to deal with their own thoughts and emotions. He grants this space generously, showing empathy and compassion without suffocating her with his own need to "fix" things.

A great man realizes he’s okay on his own. He’s confident and calm, surrounded by a supportive group of other initiated men who understand this journey. When he gives his wife space, it’s not about withdrawing in a huff but about staying present and available without crowding her.

Calm Confidence: The Key to Attraction

Steve beautifully ties this back to an analogy with horses. Just like horses, women are attracted to calm confidence. They gravitate towards men who know they’re okay, who don’t need constant validation or immediate responses to feel secure. This doesn’t mean disappearing or becoming aloof. It’s about maintaining your own lane of happiness and allowing her the freedom to process her own emotions.

So, if you’re feeling that dreaded sense of doom or the monkeys in your head won’t stop chattering, take a step back. Remember, being a great man means giving your partner space, staying calm, and knowing deep down that you’re going to be okay no matter what.

Final Thoughts

Steve’s advice isn’t just theory – it’s practical wisdom that we can apply every day. The journey from being a good guy to a great man is about evolving past our insecurities and learning to be strong, calm, and confident in ourselves. This shift not only improves our relationships but also enhances our overall happiness and fulfillment.

So, next time you feel the urge to fix something in your relationship, pause. Channel your inner great man, give her space, and focus on your own lane of happiness. Trust me, the results will be transformative.

Take the Next Step

Ready to transform from a good guy to a great man? Schedule a one-on-one coaching call with me, Charlie McKeever, and let’s embark on this journey together.

Looking for a community of like-minded men? Join the Happy Man Coaching Community or the GoodGuys2GreatMen Live Coaching Round Table Facebook group to connect, share, and grow with other men on the same path.

Want Something Self-Paced?

If your marriage is struggling and you’re seeking to rebuild intimacy, connection, and passion, explore the Happy Man Coaching Failing Marriage Recovery Course. This course is designed to guide you through the steps needed to revive and strengthen your relationship.

Stay strong, stay connected, and keep moving forward on your journey from good guy to great man.

Much love, brother,

Charlie McKeever
Your Happy Man Coach
HappyManCoaching.com

"The very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself." – Wallace D. Wattles, 1903