How The Masculine Leads The Feminine To Deeper Relationship Connection
Hey brother, it's your Happy Man Coach, Charlie McKeever, back with another blog post. Today, I want to share some amazing insights from my friends and fellow coaches, Dennis Collins and Matt Epsky, from the Man of Legacy Podcast. These guys really know how to break down complex ideas into practical, relatable wisdom that can truly transform your relationships and your life. So, grab your coffee, sit back, and let's dive into the teachings of Dennis and Matt on the masculine and feminine dynamic.
The River and the Riverbanks
In one of their enlightening conversations, Dennis and Matt introduced a powerful metaphor: men as the riverbanks and women as the flowing river. This concept beautifully illustrates the complementary roles of masculinity and femininity. Imagine the riverbanks, strong and steady, providing structure and guidance for the flowing water. The water, on the other hand, is dynamic, ever-changing, and full of life. Together, they create a harmonious and balanced ecosystem.
Understanding the Metaphor
Matt explains that he initially encountered this idea in a book, which described women as the flowing river and men as the rocks or riverbanks. He took this concept and expanded on it, creating a visual representation to help men understand their roles better. The riverbanks, made of values and desires, provide stability and direction for the river.
Values as Rocks
The rocks that form the riverbanks are our core values. For Matt, these include freedom, kindness, love, honesty, acceptance, and generosity. These values are the foundation of who we are as men. They are our non-negotiables, our "nuts" – the Non-negotiable Unalterable Terms. Having a firm grasp on these values allows us to be strong and grounded.
Desires as Boundaries
On the other side, our desires shape the direction and flow of the river. These include joy, intimacy, tenderness, closeness, playfulness, passion, and admiration. Desires give us a vision and direction for our relationships and our lives. Without clear desires, we might become rigid or aimless, but when balanced with our values, they create a supportive and inviting environment for the feminine energy to thrive.
The Importance of Both Riverbanks
Dennis and Matt emphasize that having both sides of the riverbanks – values and desires – is crucial. If we're only focused on our values, we might become too rigid and unapproachable. Conversely, if we're only driven by our desires, we might come off as needy or insecure. The magic happens when we balance both, creating a space where the feminine can flow freely and safely.
Why Women Find Boundaries Attractive
One of the most eye-opening insights is that women find boundaries and standards incredibly sexy. A man who knows his values and stands by them is seen as reliable and trustworthy. This doesn't mean being controlling; it's about being grounded in who you are and inviting others into that space with you.
Real-Life Applications
Dennis and Matt share personal experiences and examples to illustrate these concepts. For instance, Matt talks about how he applies these principles with his daughters. By being a stable presence and not getting swept up in their emotional storms, he creates a safe space for them to express themselves and grow.
Similarly, in romantic relationships, being grounded in your values and clear about your desires allows for deeper, more meaningful connections. It fosters trust and vulnerability, making it possible to have those intimate and honest conversations that are the bedrock of a strong relationship.
Growing the Riverbanks
Dennis and Matt also highlight how working on both sides of the riverbanks – our values and desires – leads to personal growth and deeper relationships. As we strengthen our values and clarify our desires, the river can flow deeper, creating more profound and fulfilling connections.
Final Thoughts
This metaphor of the river and the riverbanks is a powerful tool for understanding and improving our relationships. It reminds us that while we can't control the flow of the river, we can provide a strong and stable structure that supports and guides it. By being grounded in our values and clear in our desires, we create a space where the feminine can thrive, leading to deeper, more meaningful connections.
So brother, take some time to reflect on your riverbanks. What are your core values?
What are your desires?
How can you balance both to create a supportive and inviting space for the feminine in your life?
Remember, it's not about controlling the river but providing the structure and support that allows it to flow freely and beautifully.
Take the next step.
☎️ SCHEDULE A "RIVERBANKS" COACHING CALL
Schedule a free coaching call with me to share your story and discuss what you'd like be different in your relationships and life.
📚 RECOMMENED READING
I highly recommend reading the book
'No More Mr. Nice Guy' by Dr. Robert Glover
📚 RECOMMENDED NICE GUY STUDY COURSE
Take my Happy Man Coaching No More Mr. Nice Guy Course
The course includes private one-on-one coaching calls to help you understand the key concepts covered in the book, along with other important related concepts NOT covered in the No More Mr. Nice Guy book.
Until we talk again, be kind to yourself.
Much love, brother,
Charlie McKeever
Your Happy Man Coach
HappyManCoaching.com
"The very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself." – Wallace D. Wattles, 1903
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