Deciding on Divorce: Will It Truly Make You Happier?
Welcome back brother, it's Charlie here, back with another blog post inspired by my friend and mentor, Steve Horsmon from GoodGuys2GreatMen. If you’ve ever been stuck in a relationship wondering if you should stay or go, this one’s for you. Steve recently addressed this common dilemma in one of his videos, and his insights are pure gold.
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
We’ve all been there—questioning whether to stick it out in a relationship or jump ship in search of greener pastures. Steve had a client ask him this exact question: "How do I know if the grass will ever get green on this side of the fence, and how do I know if it’s greener on the other side?"
Steve’s answer? It depends. But not in the way you might think.
Are You Fertilizer or Dog Pee?
Yep, you read that right. Steve uses a vivid analogy to make his point. When you’re contemplating a change, you need to ask yourself: Are you going over the fence as fertilizer or as dog pee? Here’s the breakdown:
Dog Pee: We all know what happens when a dog pees on the grass—it turns yellow and brown. If you’re feeling disrespected, offended, agitated, lacking confidence, and you think it’s all because of your partner, you’re looking at the world from the outside in. You’re attributing your feelings to external factors. If you jump the fence in this state, you’ll bring the same negativity and issues with you. Essentially, you’ll turn the new grass brown too.
Fertilizer: On the flip side, if you do the personal work and become a strong, confident, happy man, you’ll be a source of positive energy. You’ll be the fertilizer that makes any grass greener. When you’re full of initiated happiness, confidence, and generosity, you create a positive environment wherever you go.
Do the Personal Work
The key message here is that your happiness and confidence come from within. If you become the fertilizer—doing the work to become a happy, self-respecting man—you’ll know where you belong. And wherever you go, you’ll be happy.
Steve emphasizes that if you’re in a bad place emotionally and decide to leave a relationship without addressing your inner turmoil, you’ll bring that negativity with you. Conversely, if you stay in a relationship while working on yourself, one of two things will happen: your partner will either start to follow your lead and things will improve, or you’ll realize with clarity whether the relationship is right for you.
Final Thoughts
We have the power to create our own happiness. Whether you stay or go, becoming a source of positive energy and confidence will make the grass green wherever you are. So, let’s commit to doing the work, supporting each other, and becoming the best versions of ourselves.
Take the Next Step
Ready to transform from a good guy to a great man? Schedule a one-on-one coaching call with me, Charlie McKeever, and let’s embark on this journey together.
Looking for a community of like-minded men? Join the Happy Man Coaching Community or the GoodGuys2GreatMen Live Coaching Round Table Facebook group to connect, share, and grow with other men on the same path.
Want Something Self-Paced?
If your marriage is struggling and you’re seeking to rebuild intimacy, connection, and passion, explore the Happy Man Coaching Failing Marriage Recovery Course. This course is designed to guide you through the steps needed to revive and strengthen your relationship.
Stay strong, stay connected, and keep moving forward on your journey to being the calm, confident, grounded man you enjoy being.
Much love, brother,
Charlie McKeever
Your Happy Man Coach
HappyManCoaching.com
"The very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself." – Wallace D. Wattles, 1903
