Overcoming Nice Guy Severe Depression
“No More Mr. Nice Guy” Story 9 of 25
The Day the Police Came: A Childhood Memory
Hey, brother!
Today, I want to take you on a little journey back to my childhood, to a memory that, though not often revisited, played a significant role in shaping who I am today. It’s a story that involves my mom, her battle with depression, and a rather dramatic afternoon that ended with a police visit.
I was just a little kid, happily playing with my toys on the floor. My mom, meanwhile, was struggling with severe depression. She had disconnected from everyone—her friends, her family. Our home had become a dark, isolated place, with her spending most of her days watching soap operas in a dimly lit bedroom. I remember the room always felt heavy, like the air itself was weighed down by her sadness.
One day, things took a turn. My grandmother had been trying to reach us for days, worried sick because she hadn’t heard from my mom. Calls went unanswered, and there was no other way to check in on us. So, she did what any concerned parent would do—she called the police.
I can still remember the sound of their arrival. It was loud, jarring—a stark contrast to the quiet gloom that had enveloped our house. The police had to force their way in, not knowing what they would find. They burst through the door, ready for the worst, only to find my mom lying in bed, lost in the world of her TV dramas, and me, blissfully unaware, playing with my toys on the floor.
The whole scene was a wake-up call. Not just for my mom, but for me too, even if I didn’t fully understand it at the time. It was one of those pivotal moments that planted the seeds of the "nice guy" mentality in me. Growing up in that environment, I learned to be hyper-aware of others' feelings, always trying to make sure everyone else was okay, thinking that if I could just keep everyone happy, everything would be fine.
This memory is just one of many that formed the complex web of who I became. There were other stories too—the bus stop bully, instances of sexual abuse, drunken late-night chaos, and the terror of being lost in a supermarket. Each experience layered onto the previous ones, shaping my beliefs about what I needed to do to avoid pain and who I needed to be to ensure others' happiness.
As a child, I didn't fully grasp my own worth or value. I didn't see myself as someone deserving of love and care unless I was earning it by pleasing others. This mindset led me to constantly seek validation from the outside, believing that I had to twist and turn myself inside out to gain acceptance and love.
But here’s the thing: when you rely on external validation, you give away your power. You end up feeling trapped, powerless, and often, defeated. It’s a cycle that feeds into feelings of sadness and depression because your sense of self-worth is tied to others' approval.
It took me a long time to understand that true happiness and self-worth come from within. It’s about accepting, appreciating, and loving ourselves first. When we do that, any external validation is just a bonus—confirmation of what we already know about ourselves, not the foundation of our self-esteem.
Looking back, I can see how these experiences, as tough as they were, taught me valuable lessons. They highlighted the importance of self-acceptance and the dangers of living solely for others' approval. And now, I want to share these insights with you.
If any of this resonates with you, if you find yourself stuck in similar cycles, know that there is a way forward. It starts with a conversation, an exploration of your own stories and the meanings you've attached to them. I’m here to listen and to help you clarify those beliefs that may be holding you back.
Let's walk and talk together, unraveling the past to build a better future. Because you are the owner of your life, and you have the power to create the experiences you want.
Ready to change your life?
Then take the next logical step.
SCHEDULE A "FREEDOM FROM" COACHING CALL
Schedule a free coaching call with me to share your story and discuss what you'd like be different in your relationships and life.
START THE NICE GUY STUDY COURSE
Take my Happy Man Coaching No More Mr. Nice Guy Course
The course includes private one-on-one coaching calls to help you understand the key concepts covered in the book, along with other important related concepts NOT covered in the No More Mr. Nice Guy book.
Until we talk again, be kind to yourself.
Much love, brother,
Charlie McKeever
Your Happy Man Coach
HappyManCoaching.com
"The very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself." – Wallace D. Wattles, 1903
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