Overcome Nice Guy Value & Worth
“No More Mr. Nice Guy” Story 23 of 25
Hey brother, welcome back to the "Making of a Nice Guy" series.
In this video, I want to dive into how not understanding our value and worth can lead us on a relentless quest to prove ourselves. This journey often stems from a deep-seated belief that we are not inherently valuable or worthy, and so we seek external validation. Today, I'm sharing my personal story, hoping it resonates with you and invites you to reflect on your own experiences.
Growing up, my home was anything but peaceful. There was alcoholism, domestic violence, and countless 2 a.m. mornings where I'd have to pretend everything was fine at school the next day. Algebra class, the lunchroom—these were my battlegrounds for maintaining a facade of normalcy. But at home, it was a different story, filled with uncertainty and chaos.
As soon as I could, I worked to escape. I got my driver's license at 16, found a job, and saved money. By 17, I joined the Marines with my parents' consent. The Marines were my ticket to discipline, financial stability, and an exit from my turbulent home life. I was determined to carve out a different path for myself.
From a young age, I vowed to do better than my parents. Their constant fighting made me resolve to be the "bigger person" in my future relationships, to "shut up" if necessary to keep the peace. This belief fueled my urgency to marry, to prove I could succeed where my parents failed. At 19, fresh out of boot camp and in electronics school, I got married. Four years later, I was divorced due to infidelity.
I remarried almost immediately, this time to a woman who seemed to fit the ideal image I had in my mind. We clicked, enjoyed each other's company, and have been together for almost 28 years. But looking back, I realize much of my drive was about proving my worth through external achievements—marriage, career, running marathons, financial success.
Despite these efforts, I constantly felt I was not enough. No matter how much I achieved, it never filled the void. I was seeking validation outside of myself, desperately wanting others to affirm my value. This led to a "colander" effect in my relationships—no amount of love or support from others could fill me up because I didn't believe I was enough.
This dynamic drained my partners and caused them to pull away, leaving me feeling even more unworthy and misunderstood. The solution, I eventually realized, was to love myself and recognize my inherent worth. We are all born valuable and worthy, and no external validation can add to or subtract from that.
Ready to change your life?
Then take the next logical step.
SCHEDULE A "FREEDOM FROM" COACHING CALL
Schedule a free coaching call with me to share your story and discuss what you'd like be different in your relationships and life.
START THE NICE GUY STUDY COURSE
Take my Happy Man Coaching No More Mr. Nice Guy Course
The course includes private one-on-one coaching calls to help you understand the key concepts covered in the book, along with other important related concepts NOT covered in the No More Mr. Nice Guy book.
Until we talk again, be kind to yourself.
Much love, brother,
Charlie McKeever
Your Happy Man Coach
HappyManCoaching.com
"The very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself." – Wallace D. Wattles, 1903
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