Overcome Nice Guy Self-Acceptance
“No More Mr. Nice Guy” Story 18 of 25
Hey brother, welcome back to the “Making of a Nice Guy” series.
If you haven't read the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy", I highly recommend it. The book transformed my entire life and set me on a journey to reconnect with myself. It helped me improve my intimate relationship with my wife, my relationship with my kids, my co-workers, clients, extended family, friends, and most importantly, with myself.
In this video, I want to share a personal story about shame. It's a topic we often don't realize we struggle with, and I was no different. When I first worked with my men's coach, he asked me, "How are you with shame?" I confidently replied, "I'm great! What do you want to know? My bank statement? My porn history? Religion or politics? I don't have anything to hide. Let's talk about it."
But then he handed me a book about shame, and everything changed. I learned that guilt and shame are different. Guilt is recognizing that we've done something wrong or something that goes against our values. It's something we can apologize for, correct, and make amends. But shame is deeper. It's when we do something and then tell ourselves that we are bad because of it. It's an association of self to external events, assigning meaning that projects onto us, shaping how we see ourselves.
For a long time, I didn't realize I was living in shame. I had stacked these negative beliefs on top of each other, looking for proof to reinforce the idea that I was bad. Our brains are powerful, and once we accept a story as truth, our minds work tirelessly to support it.
Through this work, I uncovered that I was actually ashamed of my family. Growing up, there was a lot of alcoholism, domestic violence, and 2 a.m. mornings filled with chaos. I never invited friends over to spend the night or hang out. Looking back, I realized this was because of associated shame. I was ashamed of my family, and therefore, ashamed of myself.
Unpacking this was a long process. I had to challenge those beliefs and ask myself: Is this true? Does this belief serve me? Do I want to believe this and live this way? What have been the results of living with these beliefs? The realization hit me hard: the coping mechanisms and rules I had created were producing the results I was experiencing in life. If I didn't challenge them, I would continue to get the same outcomes.
I know you're here because you’re looking for solutions, answers, and change. So, let me invite you to share your story with me. What's bothering you today? What do you want to be different? What are your beliefs about yourself? I want to help you get clear about what you believe and whether those beliefs serve you. Together, we can challenge those beliefs and decide how you want to live.
I'll share my own personal insights and those from the men I've worked with. I will point you to resources to help you surface your own answers and become the powerful creator of your life. You have the power to make choices about how you want to live, who you want to be, where you want to go, what you want to experience, and who you want to spend your time with.
If you're ready to have this conversation, pick a day and time that works for you to have a one hour phone call. I'll walk and talk with you for a while and show you how your life can be different when you change your beliefs about yourself.
Ready to change your marriage and your life?
Then take the next logical step.
SCHEDULE A "FREEDOM FROM" COACHING CALL
Schedule a free coaching call with me to share your story and discuss what you'd like be different in your relationships and life.
START THE NICE GUY STUDY COURSE
Take my Happy Man Coaching No More Mr. Nice Guy Course
The course includes private one-on-one coaching calls to help you understand the key concepts covered in the book, along with other important related concepts NOT covered in the No More Mr. Nice Guy book.
Until we talk again, be kind to yourself.
Much love, brother,
Charlie McKeever
Your Happy Man Coach
HappyManCoaching.com
"The very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself." – Wallace D. Wattles, 1903
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