Overcome Nice Guy No Self-Confidence
“No More Mr. Nice Guy” Story 16 of 25
In this video, I discuss the importance of standing up for yourself, acknowledging your needs and desires, and sharing them without guilt. It's about making your needs a priority and how this impacts your recovery from being a perpetual "nice guy." Let's start with a story from my own life.
When I was in junior high, I attended a small, overcrowded school. Imagine a hallway so packed that it felt like a can of sardines. Navigating to your locker or the next classroom meant weaving through a sea of students. It was chaotic, to say the least.
One day, amidst this chaos, I had an encounter that would leave a lasting impact on me. I was carrying my books, making my way down the hall when I bumped into Darren Lacy. Now, Darren was the running back on our football team—a lean, strong, energetic guy who seemed to have it all. Everyone liked him: the guys, the girls, the teachers. He was confident, vibrant, and just an all-around great guy.
But on this particular day, we clashed. We bumped shoulders, and what started as a minor collision escalated into a full-blown altercation. I honestly don't remember all the details, but I do remember that Darren hit me. Hard. It was like something out of a cartoon: stars, birds, bells—all swirling around my head.
In that split second, I knew I had two choices: stand up for myself or get clobbered. So, I summoned every ounce of courage and energy I had and went after him. We ended up on the ground, fists flying. I'm not advocating for violence, but this was about self-respect. I stood up for myself, and that made all the difference.
We got pulled apart before any real damage could be done, and there was no clear winner. But from that day forward, people respected me. Even Darren Lacy respected me. And most importantly, I respected myself. That respect carried me through the awkward, uncertain years of junior high. Despite all the changes and challenges, I had a newfound confidence because I had stood up for myself.
This experience taught me the importance of being unapologetically true to who you are and standing up for your needs. There's a big difference between standing up for yourself and being defensive. Standing up for yourself means not letting others walk all over you. Being defensive, on the other hand, often stems from fear—fear of being seen as bad or making mistakes. It's about justifying your actions to make others happy, which often leads to valuing their opinions more than your own.
I want to invite you to share your story with me. Let's have a conversation about what's bothering you and what you'd like to be different. We'll dive deep, exploring your beliefs and challenging them to see if they're really serving you. This isn't just a chat; it's a chance for transformation.
Ready to change your life?
Then take the next logical step.
SCHEDULE A "FREEDOM FROM" COACHING CALL
Schedule a free coaching call with me to share your story and discuss what you'd like be different in your relationships and life.
START THE NICE GUY STUDY COURSE
Take my Happy Man Coaching No More Mr. Nice Guy Course
The course includes private one-on-one coaching calls to help you understand the key concepts covered in the book, along with other important related concepts NOT covered in the No More Mr. Nice Guy book.
Until we talk again, be kind to yourself.
Much love, brother,
Charlie McKeever
Your Happy Man Coach
HappyManCoaching.com
"The very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself." – Wallace D. Wattles, 1903
Disclaimer: I sometimes earn commissions when you use my links to make purchases, but these products and services don't cost you more. Your purchases support my efforts to reach and help more men.
