Struggling In An Unhappy Marriage?
Stop feeling unwanted, unloved, and abandoned in your marriage. Become the calm, confident, grounded man you love being and your wife craves.
Welcome Explain It To Me Podcast Listeners.
Dating Doesn’t Have To Suck For Men!
When a man owns himself fully from the inside out, he knows he’s not dependent on others for his happiness and he doesn’t feel powerless, choice-less, and victimized. He is calm, confident, and grounded.
He is comfortable in his own skin and others are comfortable being around him. Women are attracted to him, men respect him, and most of all he enjoys who he' is being in his life.
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Facing Divorce or Marital Separation?
If you are here looking for answers to your marriage issues you are either facing divorce or marital separation or your wife has said, “I need space”, “I love you but I’m not in love with you”, “I’m unhappy”, “I don’t want to be married anymore”, or “I’ve been having an affair” or all of the these things.
What You Fear…
You are terrified of the possible changes the future might bring, and what those changes could mean to you financially, emotionally, and socially.
You don’t know what happens next and not knowing is keeping you awake at night.
You are afraid of losing your home, your kids, and your retirement. You are afraid of losing friends, extended family, and maybe even your job.
You feel like a failure as a husband, a father, and as a man and so did I.
These are all normal concerns and feelings and you are not alone. You are not the first man to feel that way, and you will not be the last.
As men, we don’t want to be seen as weak. We don’t like to fail. We do our best and show up ready for battle knowing that in the process we may take some arrows, but even so we are willing to continue to fight until our last dying breath. However, this is not always the case for a man’s wife.
More often than not, your wife values emotional safety and security over even physical or financial safety and security and when her feelings tell her she isn’t in the right place for long enough, she listens to them and decides to make serious life changes.
A man facing the critical breakdown of his marriage is usually surprised by his wife’s choices. Men report feeling caught off guard or “blind sided” by their wife’s decision to leave the marriage and ultimately the family.
Her choices can leave him feeling victimized, powerless, choice-less, and dependent on her for his happiness and well-being. But this just isn’t true.
Many men feel like they have “done everything they were supposed to do” to make everyone else happy and they don’t understand why that effort and hard work didn't produce the results they thought it would.
Many men report feeling like ATMs, maintenance men, Uber drivers and security guards in their marriage.
When a man mistakenly believes that his sole value as a man is to earn money, mow the lawn, drive kids to activities, and stand guard against potential threats the form and function of his life leaves them feeling undesired, unwanted, unappreciated, dismissed, disregarded, and disrespected.
Most of all, he feels alone and unloved while desperately wanting more connection and intimacy with his wife. He doesn’t know how to fix it, but he does know that feeling alone with someone sucks!
He works all the time, has no friends, no hobbies, and depends on his wife to be his best friend, lover, and source of happiness.
He’s worked hard to get a job, a car, a house, a wife, kids, a dog, and a bank account, only to risk losing everything in divorce.
When marriage problems arise, he has no one to talk to or understand them. If the marriage ends, he discovers that his friends are mostly husbands of her friends, and his family doesn’t have the tools necessary to help him.
He feels more alone than ever. I know because at the end of 2018, I was in the same place you are now.
How You Got Here…
You got here the same way I got here, by working hard, head down, doing what you thought you were “supposed to do” trying to make everyone around you happy until finally your marriage started falling apart.
The morning after my wife and I separated, I woke up on a blow up air mattress, staring at the ceiling of an unfurnished two bedroom apartment in Austin Texas, asking myself, “How did I get here? I did everything I was supposed to do!” Odds are, you are asking yourself the same thing, minus the air mattress
Now the marriage is officially coming apart, divorce is looming, and that pain has driven you to look for some answers. But, be honest, you probably haven’t been happy for a long time, but like most men, you just stuffed it down, tried hard to hide your feelings, and vowed never to quit.
That’s why you’ve read this far, and why are asking yourself, “Do I want the next 20 years to be like the last 20 years?”
How I Know…
You and I really aren’t that different.
I know because I lead men just like you and me to a better life every day in my online men’s community and offline men’s groups. I know because you and I are versions of each other. I was where you are now back in 2018 and like you I thought the same things, felt the same things and tried to do the same things to save my marriage.
You feel lonely right now, but you are not alone.
Our story is more common than you realize, there is a pattern to it, and everything starts to make sense when we learn how to take a step back, challenge what we think we know and be open to looking at yourself and your life from a fresh perspective.
Many of the men I coach today have been in that same place too and I promise you, you are NOT stuck this way, this moment does NOT last forever and while I know it feels like no one cares about you right now, I care about you because I know that what you want for yourself and your life is reasonable and good and worth working for, it’s just that there are some things you don’t know that are getting in the way of having the life you really want instead of the life you’ve been enduring.
Men I Work With…
Like many of the men I work with, you are a high achiever, earning praises, awards, and promotions at work, but at home, you feel like a little boy trying hard to not upset momma. You are a hero at work, but feel like a zero at home.
You do everything you think you are “supposed to do”, but what you expect to happen doesn’t, which leaves you feeling confused, frustrated and resentful that others are not doing their part and don’t seem interested in helping you.
You are afraid of making mistakes, being seen as bad, and you are anxious, fearful, and frustrated as hell.
You believe that if you do everything right, don’t make any mistakes, and make everyone else happy, you will have a problem-free life, but that’s not happening and now you are exhausted mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritual and you just don’t know how to fix it.
Again, I was right where you are now and I’m telling you, you are NOT stuck this way, life does NOT have to be this way, and there IS another way forward. This isn’t happening to you, it’s happening for you. This moment is a wake up call.
You were born with joy. You were born happy and you can be happy again. You can reconnect with your playful masculine self, have good friends, enjoy fulfilling hobbies, and have a healthy relationship with a woman who wants to be with you, earn what you want to earn, and live in the world as a calm, confident, and grounded man.
Take The Next Step…
Stop suffering! Learn how to fix your unhappy marriage. Become the man you enjoy being in your life.
If any part of what I’ve said resonates with you or you would like to talk about improving your confidence, reconnecting with your masculinity, dealing with marital separation or divorce, feeling worthy or not enough, then let’s talk.
You are not required to join a men’s community or hire a private men’s coach.
You just have to take the next step by starting a conversation with a man who understands you and who cares about you.
Let’s talk about fixing your unhappy marriage and enjoying your life.
Fix Your Unhappy Marriage
Coaching
It feels like your wife wants a divorce, the kids, the house, and half you retirement. It feels like your life is over. Let’s change that together.
Community
Reclaim your confidence and life by talking with other calm, confident, grounded men who listen, understand, and support each other.
Courses
Learn how to own your desires, build trust with your wife, and confidence in yourself to create the intimacy and connection you want.