BORN VALUABLE – we are born uniquely valuable. We can not exhaust our value. We can not add to our value. We just need to live our value.

BORN HAPPY – we were born happy. Then around the age 7 ( the age of reason ) we became aware of ourselves and then our relationship to others in the world. Then we started associating pain with our identity. Prior to this age we either were attracted to joy or gravitate away from pain. If we fell and scraped our knee we cried, wiped off the dirt, and went back to playing. We did not tell ourselves a story about the pain. Later we tell ourselves a story hoping we can avoid future pain. Eventually we make so many micro choices trying to avoid pain that we begin to lose ourselves. Original sin is the beginning of shame, pain, and disconnect from self. Reconnecting with ourselves and being who we were born to be is what this work is about. Quieting the monkeys, living in the NOW, not identifying with our thoughts, and taking back our lives is how we wake up and live fully as ourselves, who we were born as.

ALREADY OKAY – so we are already okay. We are just unlearning what has built up over the years. This is a place to come from, not to get to. Happiness on the horizon ( in the future ) is never reached. Being present and happy now where we are is the awakening.

SHE NEEDS SPACE – she is feeling a lot of pressure in her own mind and needs some relief from the current situation.

SHE LOVES YOU BUT NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU – she cares for you, but she does not feel connected to you romantically.


RIGHT NOW – Put right now on the end of everything she says. She hates you, right now. She loves you, right now.

CONTAINER / FLUID – the masculine is the river banks. The feminine is the river. The masculine is the container. The feminine is the fluid that fills the container. The fluid takes the shape of the container. A container with wholes in it can never be filled, no matter how much fluid is put in.

HIGH POSITIVE REGARD – how we see someone affects how we interact with them, both verbally and non-verbally. We may think we are hiding our resentment or aggravation with someone, but they can still feel our discontent.

NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION – what we communicate to others without using words. The way we hold our shoulders. The way we walk into a room. The way we put a glass down on a table. The way we close cabinets. The pace of our speech. The tone of our voice. Etc.

PROJECTIONS – do you really see her or do you just see who you think she is? Do you really know who you are, or are you trying to live out a story of how you are? In most cases, we project onto the other person a false version of them created from our own imagination and then we become frustrated when she doesn’t match up to the fictional story in our head. She is most likely doing the same for herself and to you. She has a story in her head about who she is and she has a story in her head about who you are and what you mean to her life. These projections are not meant to be mean spirited, they are just stories we have made up and then apply to ourselves and others.




WORDS – Men use words to communicate facts. Women use words to communicate feelings.